The Constant Battle

I have recently made a life changing decision to move halfway across the country to Oklahoma and I have to be honest...I have never been more happy about anything in my whole life.  I'm turning 20 in three days, getting a puppy and I just signed a lease on an apartment, so if you ask me, this is the beginning of a brand new life.  Which is comforting because the last year has been the most stressful year I have ever lived through, but also the most rewarding. 

I was addicted to heroin 13 months ago and was put in an in-patient facility after I was arrested.  Now, I live in a half-way house and I am packing up all my things to move to Oklahoma; a place I've dreamt of living since I was a little girl.  Sometimes I am literally brought to my knees by the dramatic turn around that I have seen in the last year.  It has been proven to me that when I really want something, and work to get it, I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.  But I didn't do it alone, either.  I had a wonderful family, boss, and counselor backing me and cheering me on the whole time.  Yes, the same family that I stole from, lied to and shunned were now my biggest fans.  If nothing else I have learned what family really is - unbreakable.

When people meet me their first impression is often a young ambitious woman with hope and potential.  From the time I was thirteen up until last year their first impression was of fear for my life.  The fact that I am not only still alive, but also living my life to the fullest and appreciating every moment (as best as humanly possible) is nothing short of a miracle.  And one I never would have expected in this lifetime.

Today, I have my own storm chasing team (although not flourishing it is existent), I have begun to write about things that are hopeful and meaningful rather than about my angst and depression, and I have celebrated a Thanksgiving, a Christmas and a birthday clean.

My family and friends' fears that I may not make it to see another day has been replaced by the joy that I am still fighting the good fight constantly.  And trust me when I say that chasing a tornado is a better high than any drug I've ever done (and I've done them all).  I guess now you can call me an adrenaline junkie.  I won't argue.
You only get one moment and then it's gone, so begin to dream with no regrets and you'll be amazed by how far it takes you.